


Space Oddity

by feedmetothepolarbear



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Character Death, Not Canon Compliant, thepaintrain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 20:05:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12043275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feedmetothepolarbear/pseuds/feedmetothepolarbear
Summary: Douglas Eiffel is dying.





	Space Oddity

He’s coughing again. He swears it’s nothing, but it takes him a little too long to catch his breath. The commander scours the databases for hours, searching for notes, for a cure. The civilian sits in the observation deck, staring out at the star, feeling powerless, unable to help. The captain comforts their commander when they can’t find anything. It’s just a cold. He’s been stressed, we all have. The AI keeps the station running because what else can she do? She lets herself believe his lies and she keeps doing her job. 

Then the lethargy. Having to stop for breath more, he’s not eating, he’s not thinking as quickly. The commander is patient with him. Tries her best, fears the worst. The civilian demands information, demands contact, hides. The captain keeps searching, takes extra rotations, sleeps less. She’s seen it before. She doesn’t want to see it again, doesn’t want anyone to go through it again. The AI doesn’t know what to do, because he’s sick and the doctor is gone. There is no way for her to help him. So she keeps doing her job and she starts helping with his. She is afraid but she can’t dwell on that, because then she could not do her job and she would lose control.

He passes out one day and stops trying to hide it. He never leaves the coms room now, he doesn’t have the energy, he needs to get work done, he needs to get as much done before he... can’t. They were supposed to leave weeks ago but they waited, they had to wait, they chose to wait. Was there ever a choice? Would it have mattered? He’s come so close before, had accepted it a long time ago, thought he would die at the hands of his doctor, thought he would die just like this, thought he would suffocate or starve in deep space. But he had allowed himself to think they could get home. He allowed himself to think he would be able to hug his daughter one more time, would learn how to communicate with her… but now the communications officer is dying. 

They keep searching. He keeps fading. They grow angry; with the colonel, with the man with the smile, with each other. The civilian breaks down in front of the commander, tells her everything, says things he had never said aloud. She can’t help but she knows how he feels. She’s afraid, she’s guilty, she’s angry. In private, she breaks down. The captain notices. She’s seen it all before. And it still hurts just as much. In private, they embrace and cry and fear and yell. The AI talks to the captain, confesses how impotent she feels. The captain understands. She has watched people die like this before, knows what it is like to be unable to save them, knows what it is like to need to keep working so you won’t break and crack and fall apart. 

He coughs up blood. The blood forms spheres like tears, floating all around them. They don’t fall. They fall wrong, they hit the ceiling instead of the floor, everything is wrong. Because this is wrong, because he has something to return home to, he had something to live for, he was never supposed to die. The captain is alone, the civilian is alone, why couldn’t it be them? Why did it have to be him, the one who was so determined to get home?

He writes a letter to his daughter. He stares at the photo he kept under the coms panel, he remembers the things they did before he failed, before he ruined her and her life, before he condemned himself. His handwriting is a mess. He’s weak, he has to keep stopping to cough. He is careful not to stain the paper. 

The commander makes promises she doesn’t know if she can keep. They agree to put their tasks on hold, to keep the communications officer company. They play games, tell stories, distract themselves, distract him, try and forget that he is dying. The AI keeps the station running because that is all she can do and she is powerless. She joins in the games, she asks them to explain the jokes. They laugh and forget for a minute, just one minute-

Then a system crashes. They have to leave to go fix it. He is alone for the first time in hours, if not days. And he starts to choke.

The AI tells them. This is all she can do. This is all she can do to help and even then it’s not much. 

The alarms are still blaring.

They need three pairs of hands and they don’t have time to get the colonel and they don’t trust him.

He is still choking.

He is dying. He knows that now. 

They fix the turbines.

They are running, they cannot run in zero gravity but there is no word for what else they are doing, no word that adequately shows the fear and urgency they are feeling. He can’t die, there has to be something they can do, because the communications officer cannot die, he is loved, he should live and be allowed to love-

He is gone. There is blood in the air. His heart is not beating, he is not breathing, he is dead. They are crying and yelling and he should not be dead. The commander cries into the shoulder of the captain who stares numbly. The civilian chokes on the words he didn’t say. The AI is still powerless. She still doesn’t understand funerals. She doesn’t understand that he is gone, that he will not reboot like she does, like the captain did. He is gone, just like the doctor, like the genius, and he is not coming back.

Classical music starts playing over the station speakers. The dear listeners give a final tribute to the man who was their voice. “This is Doug Eiffel, signing off.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was an entry for phantomgirlwalking's paintrain competition on Tumblr. http://phantomgirlwalking.tumblr.com/post/164842543815/the-pain-train-podcast-drabble-contest
> 
> And let's be real here, this is probably less painful than the new episode (specificaly episode 53, dirty work)


End file.
